How to Host a Friendsgiving

ByChris Posted on Updated on

We hosted Friendsgiving for a decade, and I’m sharing my best advice and tips for how to do it. The main rule: celebrate Thanksgiving with friends with a potluck style party you can host at home.

woman setting a friendsgiving table outside.

These ideas for Friendsgiving are the ones my friends and I implemented for years for a fun-filled celebration. Our circle of people mostly consisted of transplants who had no family nearby so we all gathered together to celebrate with each other and our children.

Those are some of my fondest holiday memories over all the years! I’m sharing tips and ideas in this hosting guide, and I encourage you to make this a tradition with your friends, too.

When we celebrated Friendsgiving it was an all day event. Guests would arrive to the host’s home by around 11 am or noon. We’d eat appetizers and sip wine, and talk and play games while the turkey finished cooking. Dinner usually happened around 6 or 7pm.

Friendsgiving Thanksgiving tablescape

When Should I Host It?

If you’re hosting this as a monthly dinner party, plan to hold it a week or two before the holiday.

If you’re situation is similar to ours, with people who aren’t traveling or don’t have family nearby, you can have it on Thanksgiving day. 

PARTY TIP: Extend your Friendsgiving group to include co-workers, neighbors, or friends of friends who can’t be with their own family. The more the merrier!

entertaining pro Chris Nease

What Do You Eat at Friendsgiving?

The meal can be similar to, or the same as a Thanksgiving menu, but the non-negotiable is that it’s a Thanksgiving potluck so everyone pitches in. Encourage guests to bring a dish that’s somewhat traditional, but different enough that you won’t be eating the same thing on the actual holiday.

For instance, have roasted chicken instead of turkey, and serve wild rice vegetable pilaf instead of traditional stuffing. Make easy mayonnaise mac-n-cheese instead of the holiday version. You’ll find more about menu ideas below.

The best thing about hosting potluck style is that you get to try new recipes that other’s hold dear, there’s an amazing variety of food available, and you can all exchange recipes.

Thanksgiving table setting

Expert Tips

These suggestions work when you host Thanksgiving too.

  • Start planning in early November. That way everyone has time to plan what dish they’ll bring.
  • Invitations are casual. The entire nature of Friendsgiving is that you celebrate with good friends, so there’s no need to send formal invitations. Just start a group text, or send a digital invitation that allows everyone to see what each other is bringing.
  • The host usually cooks the turkey. This comes down to simple logistics. It’s easier to cook the main protein at home and let everyone else bring a side dish or dessert to share.
  • Coordinate your menu. Make sure there’s open communication so you don’t have three green bean casseroles, and no pies.
  • Have games or activities available. If you’re hosting a group for friends that don’t know each other well, it’s nice to have something to break the ice. Conversation starters or board games are a good option. The host can provide them or ask guests to bring their favorite.
  • Provide take-home boxes for leftovers. If you have a ton of food left over or if guests want to take some home, have boxes or tins available to fill.
  • Ideas for cooking-challenged guests. Not everyone loves cooking, or is great at it. Assign things like dinner rolls, a simple appetizer, or wine to them. These are also good items to bring to Friendsgiving last minute.
  • Special diets. The nice thing about a potluck dinner party is that anyone who needs to follow a special diet can bring their own type of dish. That makes hosting so much less stressful.

Table Décor

Creating a fall table is one of my favorite parts of hosting. If the weather is mild where you live, the patio might be the perfect spot for an outdoor Thanksgiving tablescape.

This table setting is casual and inviting but still has a holiday feel with a fall flower arrangement and mini pumpkins.

Thanksgiving centerpiece idea

Start with an inexpensive burlap runner, basic white dishes, and coordinating napkins and drink ware. Line candlesticks down the center of the table and place mini pumpkins on top. This brings in a pop of color and whimsy to the setting.

fall table setting

Centerpiece

Follow these secrets to flower arranging to create a gorgeous but inexpensive fall centerpiece. If you have room, move the show-stopping arrangement to one end of the table where it’s still a focal point but doesn’t impede the view between guests, or you can simply remove it when you sit down to eat.

PARTY TIP: If you want to use a tall floral arrangement on the table, move it to the end instead of the middle. This way it still makes a statement but doesn’t block the view between guests and conversation across the table.

Friendsgiving table setting

Metallic details are the “jewelry” of the table and you can use it in brass candlesticks, gold flatware, gold-painted lucky wishbones, and copper Moscow mule cups.

outdoor tables set with mini pumpkins and white plates and blue glasses.

Use pine cones for a natural element that doubles as place card holders.

PARTY TIP: Be prepared to share your recipes with the others so they can add it to their holiday menu repertoire. Print out a few copies beforehand so you can hand them out.

patio setting with sofa and chair and fall decorations.

Easy Party Decorations

Prepare your home with themed decorations. Make sure to have cozy seating areas ready to gather in. Add pots of mums to outdoor spaces or on the porch.

Add fall arrangements like simple vases of dry wheat, cattails, or Pampas grass on side tables and buffets. Place small pumpkins on tables and use warm fall colors for pillows and table setting.

If you’re lucky enough to set up outdoors, provide blankets and throws, and have wood ready in the fire pit in case the temperature drops.

four photo collage of fall decor and people outdoors.

Set up a bar or lounge area and serve hot Russian tea on a tray. Add a shot of rum or bourbon to make it extra special for the adults.

Gather natural items together in a basket, such as rustic antlers, pinecones, feathers, etc.

Don’t stress too much about seating. You can move chairs and benches back and forth from the sitting area to the dinner table, when needed.

Games and Activities

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Be prepared with some fun interactive games to play. If you have the space, go ahead and set up a few game tables so guests can choose their favorite spot.

  • We love playing Apples to Apples, and it’s suitable for all ages.
  • If you’re only playing with adults, Cards Against Humanity is hilarious! Or try the family version.
  • A friendly game of poker can be fun too.
  • Depending on the day you choose, there may be football on tv to watch. 
  • Puzzles are fun for all ages, and you can start with a 500-piece puzzle so it’s not overwhelming.
  • At the end of the meal, two guests can take their shot at pulling the wishbone with a partner to see who’s wishes will come true!

Friendsgiving Menu

If yours is an all day event you’ll need some hearty snacks and appetizers to sustain you until dinner. Alternatively, if you’re gathering an hour or so ahead of the meal, some light bites are preferred.

Either way you definitely want a tasty drink to welcome guests with.

Fall Drinks

Get the party started with fall cocktails or a large batch of drinks. Fall sangria is a terrific option for a group and starts with apple cider. Iced tea or diet coke is a traditional option without alcohol.

Serve fall flavored beers and seltzers on ice so they’re easy to grab. Of course wine is always a good option.

Appetizers

Serve some Thanksgiving appetizers that will tie you over but not fill you up before the meal.

PARTY TIP: Have some disposable containers on hand so guests can take home leftovers for lunch the next day.

Friendsgiving Food Ideas

Bring any of these tried and true recipes to your Friendsgiving party.

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15 Comments

  2. I’m always blown away by your tables capes and party themes! And I am so obsessed with copper dishes right now!

    1. Thanks so much, Nicole!
      I know, isn’t the copper so pretty. I love how it coordinates with the gold/brass that’s been so popular too.

  3. Beautiful, just beautiful! And such a great idea for special holiday memories with our friends!

  4. This looks fabulous! We frequently spend the holiday with friends as we are all so far from family. Thanks for the great ideas.

  5. I absolutely adore this! I love the mugs, place settings, and the cozy sitting area! And Chris you look adorable! Cute outfit!!

  6. This is gorgeous!! I live in a climate where outdoor Thanksgiving entertaining may or may not work, but I love the idea of an outdoor Friendsgiving!

    1. Thanks so much, Tori. It’s fun for me to look back and see how my style has evolved over the years.

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