How To Plan A Party At Home (So You Actually Enjoy It!)

Imagine you’ve spent weeks planning a special celebration or theme party and the doorbell rings. You’re calm because the food is ready, drinks are poured, the mood is set, and you’re ready to sip and socialize just like your guests get to do!

That’s the feeling you get with good planning. It gives you the freedom to enjoy the party you worked so hard to create.

When you follow these basics, you can change up the specifics according to the occasion. Above all, it’s vital to stick with what feels manageable for you so when guests arrive, everything is in order and you’re ready to mingle and have fun too!

1. The “Plan Backward” Approach

My secret to party planning is to start at the end with a visualizing exercise that allows you to focus on the outcome so that everything you do leading up to it is in line with that.

Let’s assume you have the basics worked out (guest list, menu, decorations). Now ask yourself, “what do you want to be doing when the party is in full swing?” Your answer should be:

1. Relaxed and able to socialize with guests.
2. Have food and drinks prepared so guests can help themselves.
3. Be ready to guide the evening rather than work the evening. 

What you don’t want is to be juggling last minute cooking techniques, or mixing 5-ingredient cocktails all night.

How To Begin

Does the purpose of your party revolve around a milestone, a holiday, or just for fun? The answer to this question will help dictate your guest list, and make it easier to plan food, drinks, décor, music, and even dress code.

Plan the type of gathering based on budget, space, or time. For a large party you may want to serve appetizers and cocktails, or an open-house style dessert party. Whereas a small shower or themed dinner party is more conducive to a sit-down meal.

• Keep in mind guests will be using your bathroom. Can you actually accommodate 100 people? Or is it best to keep it at 30 guests?

Create the right guest list for the occasion. I discovered early on that the best parties begin with the right mix of people. Curate a list of guests who will have a great attitude, and who you think might enjoy getting to know each other.

• Balance the list between outgoing talkers and quieter types. We have a few friends that are our anchor guests who are great conversationalists and can talk to anyone! 
• If you’re hosting for a guest of honor, such as birthdays or showers, the guest list will be more specific to that person.
• Use invitations to establish the specifics so your guests know what to expect (set time, dress code, adults only, etc).
• Depending on the occasion and budget, entertainment can include games, activities, dancing, or hired performers.

Plan Like a Pro

Create a monthly or weekly timeline for shopping, cleaning, decorating and cooking. Plan backwards from the day of the party and think about how long things take to make, or ship.

Create a day-of timeline for cooking and prep. Give yourself a 1 hour buffer to account for things that take longer than expected.

• Using my “plan backward” approach, start with what time your food needs to be ready and work backwards. For instance, if you’re eating at 7pm and you know the beef takes 45 minutes to cook plus 20 minutes to rest, you should put it in the oven at 5:55pm.

Get an accurate headcount several days before the event. Send a quick text message to everyone letting them know you’re looking forward to seeing them in a few days. If people haven’t RSVP’d yet, this is a gentle reminder for them to do so.

2. The Value Test

Before adding something to your party, ask these questions: Will this add value or interest? Is the impact worth the time or cost? Will this recipe require last minute attention? Does homemade really matter here?

This litmus test helps eliminate time-consuming tasks or costly items, while helping determine your most important elements.

Prep Ahead

Make sure you have the hosting supplies you need, and the right number of pieces. Your needs will be different for a dinner party vs. an appetizers party.

Stock up early on wine, soda, juice, or beer, from the non-refrigerated sections. That way they don’t take up valuable space in your fridge; just chill them in a cooler with ice on party day.

Stock up early on nonperishables so you have less to shop for later, or have groceries delivered to save time.

• Prep ingredients days ahead: chop vegetables, make dips and dressing, bake desserts, combine spice rubs, prep crostini, make simple syrup, etc.
• Make food ahead whenever possible, or utilize freezable recipes like spaghetti sauce, soups and chili, mashed potatoes, desserts, and appetizers.
• Plan your outfit ahead of time.
• Start the evening with an empty dishwasher, sink, and trashcan.
• Before guests arrive, have appetizers ready, drinks chilled, and ice buckets filled.

3. Add One “Wow” Factor

This is one of my signature party principles. Incorporate one element that’s unique or unexpected. That standout feature makes your guests say, “oh, this is fun!” and takes your party to the next level. It can be decor, food, drink, or an activity.

Choose something that fits into your budget and make it a focal point. Here are some suggestions that we’ve incorporated over the years:

Don’t Try To Do Too Much

A great party isn’t one where you did the most; it’s the one where nobody notices what you didn’t do. Focus on the tasks that you love doing and use shortcuts or outsource the parts you don’t. If you love tablescapes, create a beautiful one. If you hate baking desserts, purchase it. Here are some shortcuts I use:

• Buy a prepared vegetable tray from the produce section. No one will know the difference when you serve it on your own platter.
• Use timesavers like starting the salad with bagged greens; use prepared dough and pie shells.
• Serve a large batch drink that’s ready to pour.
• Repeat a successful menu and recipes, and choose dishes that don’t need last minute attendance.
• Use the slow cooker to turn budget-friendly meat into tender, flavorful meals.
• Don’t try to recreate a catered event; serve family style or buffet style.
• Share the load with a cohost to reduce cost and stress, or make it a potluck. Hire professionals when it makes sense: specialty cakes from a professional baker, a house cleaning service, or cater parts of the menu.

4. Create Atmosphere

When you’re designing the overall experience, engage the senses, and create functionality. You want things to be cohesive and have flow. Here’s what it looks like:

Engaging The 5 Senses

Sight: This includes décor as well as lighting. Follow a coordinated color palette or decorating scheme.

• Create 1 to 3 strong focal points (tablescape, backdrop, or balloon arch) rather than decorating everything. Connect multiple party spaces by using the same colors, fabric, or signage.
• Use pretty serving bottles and jars for condiments or sauces, pitchers for water or juice.
• Soft lighting creates intimacy and flatters everyone. Use dimmers, candles, string lights, or low-watt bulbs.

Smell: Scented candles are great near the entry or in the bathroom, and the aroma of food whets the appetite. However, don’t have scented candles near the food.

Sound: In my experience, music is an afterthought for many hosts. But for me, and the lesson I want you to take away, is that music is an integral part of the overall experience. It helps set the tone, and can reiterate the theme (think French Cabaret playlist for a French themed party).

• Make sure it lasts as long as you need it to, and keep it as background music unless it’s part of the activity, like dancing. Create a playlist ahead of time or look up a Spotify station for your desired niche.

Taste: When planning the menu, think about the balance of fresh & seasonal, hot and cold, texture, spice level, and overall pairings.

Touch: This includes the literal sense of touch like comfortable seats and linen napkins, but also the temperature. For summer heat provide hand fans for guests, for fall have cozy throws to drape around shoulders. For indoor parties, lower the thermostat to account for body heat generated from a house full of guests.

Functional Party Spaces

Make a good first impression by making your space clutter-free, starting at the front door. Store away backpacks, shoes, mail, or cords that may be a trip hazard or contribute to visual clutter.

Separate food buffets from beverage stations, and arrange furniture for easy traffic flow. If the dining room table is being used for a buffet, remove the chairs from around it and set them in another area where guests can sit.

Divide drink stations to eliminate a bottleneck effect. You can set up a wine area next to a beer tub since both are quick to pour or grab. Place a cocktail bar separately since it requires a little more time to get. For brunch you may need a coffee station, or juice station.

5. Put Your Menu to Work

Remember tip #1 above and think about how you can design the party so you don’t have to work all night. My favorite way to do this is with self-serve stations and buffets.

With these in place, guests can help themselves so you’re not plating and pouring all night. One strategy is to embrace build-your-own menus like tacos, buddha bowls, and pasta bars.

Keep special diets in mind including gluten free, nut or seafood allergies, vegetarian and vegan. Label food and drinks when helpful or for special diets.

Dessert

Serve a simple dessert that you purchase or assemble, or incorporate tip #3 and serve something unexpected. Imagine the fun of making s’mores at the table of a dinner party. It’s the unexpected that makes it interesting and memorable. Here are some ideas:

• Chocolate fondue with dippers.
• Ice cream sodas or floats
• Ice cream cones – fill with a milkshake and serve with straws like I did above. Drop in a mini marshmallow or dip the bottom in chocolate and let set to prevent leakage.
• Churros with dipping sauce
• Affogato – hot coffee or espresso poured over ice cream.
• Custom ice cream sandwiches or sundae bar
• DIY S’mores – use tabletop heating kits specifically made for s’mores.
• Chocolate and cheese board

Drinks

Wine and beer are standard options, but also decide if the occasion calls for a signature cocktail, or DIY bar.

Coordinate signature drink colors with your color scheme, and give it a fun themed name. Avoid overly sweet drinks and choose something more “refreshing” or semi-sweet.

• You’ll need 1 pound of ice per person for a cocktail or grazing party, plus extra for filling drink tubs.

6. Hostess Duties

Remember what I said at the top – you want to guide the event, not work it. However, you will need to keep these responsibilities top of mind:

• Be dressed and ready before guests arrive.
• Greet each guest personally, and express appreciation for their company.
• Have drinks ready to offer immediately. 
• Introduce guests to each other, especially if you think they’ll make a good connection. 
• Mingle with every guest throughout the evening and make sure no one feels left out. Read the room and if someone looks alone or awkward, take them under your wing.

Other Tasks

• Have a designated place for coats, purses, and umbrellas.
• Refill ice buckets and punch throughout the party.
• Check the bathroom occasionally to make sure it’s clean and stocked with extra toilet paper, soap, and fresh or disposable hand towels.
• Allow the evening to unfold naturally rather than sticking to a rigid schedule. If it feels stale, change the subject, move to another room, or pull out an activity. On the other hand, if engagement and energy are high, hold off on introducing a new activity if it’s not necessary.

7. What’s Done Is Done

Don’t sweat the small stuff; guests don’t know what you had planned but didn’t happen. What they will remember is the laughs, the conversations, one single detail they didn’t expect, or the overall fun they had because the guest list was so good.

End Of Party Tips

Avoid doing major cleanup while guests are still enjoying themselves. Simply clear plates and stack dishes in the sink if necessary. If you start cleaning, the guests will either feel obligated to help, feel guilty about not helping, or feel uneasy about you not being present.

If you feel the need to indicate the night is winding down, politely do a “last call” for drinks or food.

After the party, take note of the overall experience and keep a party journal with what worked and what didn’t. Jot down the best recipes and make sure they become part of your go-to menu planning.

You can reference this party planning guide each time and the more you do this, the easier it becomes! Tell me in the comments, what’s your favorite kind of party to host?